Craig and Tweek versus evil
by Hiari
Summary: Craig, Tweek, and the gang are in a Zombie Apocalypse. Disaster ensues. Based on tuckerenthusiast's Craig of the Dead AU.
1. Prologue

_Squish._

"Gross," Craig Tucker deadpanned as he yanked his nail-covered bat out of the rotting flesh of a zombie's head. He was completely used to this by now, but that particular zombie had been rather...sticky. He made a mental note to try and wipe off the goo later.

"Agh! Craig!" A voice cried out behind him, and he immediately turned to see his boyfriend slamming his axe down on a zombie, cutting its head clean off.

"What is it, babe?"

Tweek didn't respond for a few moments, methodically cutting down four more zombies. Since the world as they knew it had effectively ended, Tweek had surprisingly calmed down a bit. He still had rather severe anxiety, but his twitching had almost completely gone away, save for certain moments when he was extremely nervous. One would think that would be all the time in a zombie apocalypse, but Tweek was a lot hardier than people had given him credit for in the past. Of course, those people were mostly all zombies now.

It had been about a three months since the outbreak, and Craig, Stan, Kyle, Clyde, Token, and Tweek were still no closer to finding out exactly how it started. Luckily, they had run across several non-turned friends of theirs like Butters, Wendy, and Kenny, but some of their other classmates were still yet to be seen.

Craig personally wanted to blame Stan for all of this, although Tweek had persuaded him to team up with them after they had run into each other at the gas station convenience store. Some shit about mutually benefiting each other. Still, the initial four of them - Craig, Stan, Kyle, and Tweek - had been a good team. It only took a few days before they'd found Clyde, Jimmy, and Token, grouped up together and thankfully unturned. From then on, the seven of them had stuck together. They all managed to survive by raiding stores for food after the rations they had brought with them eventually ran out.

About a month after Clyde, Jimmy, and Token had joined them, the group had stumbled upon Butters, Wendy, and Kenny, also thankfully unturned. Kenny had a rather haunted look in his eyes though, worse than usual. The whole zombie outbreak had seemed to really unsettle him for some reason. Not that Craig cared too much, but with zombies seemingly multiplying every day, the unturned had to stick together. Or something like that.

However, Kenny, Wendy, and Butters hadn't actually wanted to join them immediately. They wanted to find their other friends first, and promised to regroup some other time.

However, that was two months ago. As of now, Craig had no idea where those three had gone or if they were successful in locating any of the other South Park teenagers. He whacked the head off an approaching zombie with a slight grunt.

"Craig!" Tweek called again, having finished re-killing a batch of zombies.

"Yeah?" Craig turned to his boyfriend again.

"Ngh, well, I-I think I see Karen and Tricia! Unturned!"

"Where?" Swiveling around, Craig's eyes darted left and right, searching for signs of his little sister and her friend. Tricia could be a pain in the ass, but he was relieved that she was currently alive, if Tweek wasn't mistaken. He caught sight of bright red hair and unmistakable pigtails.

Wait, was that his katana?

* * *

 **A/N: I really hope you liked the prologue! I know it was short, but it's just a quick prologue. If you guys like this, I'll keep writing! I haven't written fanfiction in so long - I was so happy to write this! I must admit I'm not actually that knowledgeable about South Park (though I love Creek to death and I've watched all those episodes), nor am I particularly well-versed in Zombie Apocalypses, but I did my best! I'll be following** tuckerenthusiast's **updates on the AU, so I'll try my best to incorporate all of it into this story. Do note though, this story takes place about three months after the outbreak started.**  
 **Please check out** tuckerenthusiast's tumblr **for more details about the CotD AU! The characters are all in their teens in this AU, I think. I tried to keep them all in character, and please feel free to point out any mistakes you find!**

 **Please, if you enjoyed it, leave a comment! They make my day. South Park and the Craig of the Dead AU do not belong to me, of course.**  
 **My own** Tumblr **is YuurixNikiforov.**  
 **Thanks for reading! Btw, the title is a spoof of Tucker and Dale vs Evil.**


	2. Chapter 1

"...Tricia?"

"Craig!" His younger sister rushed towards him, enveloping him in a very uncharacteristic hug. Zombie apocalypses were probably a fair exception for the Tucker family's unwritten 'no touchy-feely shit' rule.

"Tricia." Craig returned the embrace briefly, before pulling away to look at her. In the three months that he hadn't seen her, she seemed to have changed slightly, looking a little more mature. He supposed zombie apocalypses probably did that to people too.

Wait.

That was his hat! And his guinea pig.

Wait.

His guinea pig.

Stripe #4 was alive!

"I see you looted my stuff," he told her dryly, flipping her off; the good, old-fashioned Tucker way of saying "I love you".

She immediately returned the rude gesture. "All's fair in love and zombie apocalypses."

"That's not a thing, dumbass. Now let me hold Stripe #4." Craig held out his hands expectantly.

Rolling her eyes at him, Tricia carefully scooped the ball of pure goodness from her pocket and gingerly placed him into his rightful owner's palms.

Nose twitching, Stripe #4 sniffed his new surroundings. Craig cooed and was pretty sure he was making a stupid face at his beloved pet. During the initial outbreak, he hadn't had any time to grab the guinea pig, and it had been weighing on him pretty heavily. He was beyond relieved to see that both his sister and his pet were safe.

"What about Mom and Dad?"

"They're fine for now," replied Tricia, biting her lip. Her blue eyes were full of uncertainty.

He stared at her.

She sighed. "They're not turned. Yet. But zombies got into our house, Craig. We couldn't fight them off by ourselves. Mom and Dad told me to go find help."

Craig stared at her, trying to process what she was saying. Their house had been breached? That seemed impossible to him. Their group was pretty far from Craig's house. Tricia must have had no luck with their immediate neighbors.

"How long has it been since you left?" his voice cracked a little, and he scowled.

"Two days," came her response.

He felt dread pooling in his gut. "We have to go. Now."

No matter how bad their family was at expressing love towards each other, they were still bound together by blood. Craig tried to stamp down on the anxious feelings swirling around inside him. His parents were going to be fine. They were strong, after all.

"Tweek!" He called out to his boyfriend.

The blonde, who had been conversing with Karen, lifted his head. "Yeah?"

"Get Stan, Kyle, Clyde, Token, and Jimmy. We're going to my house."

"Why?"

Gritting his teeth, Craig carefully schooled his features into his usual deadpan expression. "My parents are in danger."

"Oh my god! Ngh- that's terrible!" Tweek cried out, hurrying over to the other members of their group. "Guys, w-we have to go to C-Craig's house now!"

When Stan asked why, Tweek repeated what his boyfriend had said earlier. The party quickly agreed to all head over to Craig's house as fast as possible.

The journey there was relatively quick, since all of them knew South Park like the back of their hands; they had been born and raised in the small town and lived there their entire lives, after all.

Upon arriving, Craig's sense of foreboding only got worse. Many of the first floor windows were broken, and the front door was slightly ajar. Bits of glass littered the front yard, and from what he could see in through the broken windows, nobody was there.

He heard his sister gasp in horror beside him.

"Let's go in," he told the others, all them nodding in agreement.

Carefully nudging the door open with his baseball bat, Craig led the way as the others shuffled after him. The interior of the house looked like a tornado had gone through. Decorations were askew, if not on the floor, the kitchen was a mess, with broken china all over the place, and there was no one in sight.

"Mom, Dad?" Tricia called out tentatively, looking around the entrance hallway of their home.

There was no response.

"We should probably split up. Stan, Jimmy, Karen, and I can search the first floor some more. The rest of you can go upstairs." Kyle suggested.

They all agreed that seemed like a good plan, and so the group parted ways.

"Don't touch anything," Craig warned Kyle, who just rolled his eyes.

Trekking upstairs, Craig felt his fear worsening. It was eerily quiet in the house, aside from their footsteps. The silence was both a blessing and a curse. There were no sounds of a zombie moaning, but there also were no sounds of his parents speaking.

The hallway was completely empty, and all the doors were open, except for the master bedroom's. It looked like the door to that room had several deep scratches.

The group quickly agreed to search each room one by one. Craig's room was devoid of anybody, although it looked like somebody had gone through his drawers, since the contents were strewn all over the floor. He tutted, but there was no blood or anything. The bathroom he shared with Tricia also was empty. Tricia's room was the same, although there was a large pool of blood on the carpet.

"That wasn't there before I left!" his sister cried out, looking horrified.

"Oh Jesus!" Tweek was trembling, his brown eyes going wide at the blood.

Clyde and Token both swore, moving closer to inspect the area.

"It's almost dry," Token told them.

Craig swallowed hard, glancing at the only room they had left to check - the closed master bedroom. His parents' room.

Attempting to turn the doorknob, he swore. It was locked.

"Mom, Dad!" Tricia called again, louder and more desperate.

There was still no response.

Gathering his courage, Craig gripped his baseball bat and swung hard. The door cracked a little.

"Here, let me." Clyde grabbed the bat and took a swing at the door. It shattered easily.

Quickly shaking his head in disbelief, Craig retrieved his bat from his friend and stepped into the room.

His heart sank.

 **A/N: Here's the first real chapter!**

 **I hope you liked it.**

 **Ahahahaha, I'm a horrible person who likes to leave readers on cliffhangers. :)**

 **You can follow me on Tumblr; my url is yuurixnikiforov.**

 **Additionally, please follow Tuckerenthusiast! This is their AU after all.**

 **If you liked it, or if you didn't, please leave a comment~ They make my day!**


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